Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Jokes

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

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