Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Jokes

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

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