Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

If you want to see some more dog jokes just reload the page.

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes | Winter Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes