Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!


Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.

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