Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Jokes

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

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