Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.
Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!
Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!
Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!
Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!
Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Pooch your arms around me, honey!
How will we get away from that mean dog?
Dasum cute dog!
Not bow who, bow wow!
Pooch your arms around me baby!
Give the pup a cookie!
There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."