Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Jokes

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

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