Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.
Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!
Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.
Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.
Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.
Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.
Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.
Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Give the pup a cookie!
How will we get away from that mean dog?
Not bow who, bow wow!
Ken you walk the dog for me?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!
There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."