Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.
Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!
Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.
Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.
Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.
Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!
Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!
Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.
How will we get away from that mean dog?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!
Dasum cute dog!
Give the pup a cookie!
Ken you walk the dog for me?
There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."