Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Dog

Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about dogs. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these dogs jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

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