Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!
Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!
Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.
Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.
Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!
Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!
Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.
Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.
Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Pooch your arms around me, honey!
Pooch your arms around me baby!
Dasum cute dog!
Ken you walk the dog for me?
Not bow who, bow wow!
There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."