Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible.
Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow!
Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem?
Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory!
Doctor: When did that happen?
Patient: When did what happen!
 

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