Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible.
Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

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