Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible.
Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory!
Doctor: When did that happen?
Patient: When did what happen!
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling?
Camper: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow!
Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem?
Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: You have a week to live.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

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