Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow!
Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem?
Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: You have a week to live.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

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