Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling?
Camper: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: You have a week to live.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi-
Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
 

Doctor: Next please!
Patient: Can you help me out please?
Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

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