Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Doctor: Next please!
Patient: Can you help me out please?
Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory!
Doctor: When did that happen?
Patient: When did what happen!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi-
Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

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