Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D
Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.
Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!
Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.
Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.
Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.
Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"
You know my name!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains.
Doctor: Pull your self together!
Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: You have a week to live.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes.
Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first.
So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane.
The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next.
So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left.
Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next?
Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
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