Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains.
Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling?
Camper: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes.
Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first.
So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane.
The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next.
So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left.
Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next?
Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Doctor: Next please!
Patient: Can you help me out please?
Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

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