Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Doctor

Doctor Jokes

Funny doctor jokes for kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about doctors. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these doctor jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes.
Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first.
So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane.
The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next.
So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left.
Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next?
Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Doctor: Next please!
Patient: Can you help me out please?
Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible.
Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

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