Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Q. How do you know when a dumb person has been on the computer?
A. There's white-out all over the screen.
Q. What is a TV's favorite thing to do at the the beach?
A. Channel surf.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mouse.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. What did the iPhone say to the other iPhone?
A. "It is nice to text you."
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.
Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.
Q. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
A. So it could surf the web.
Q. What is an alien's favorite place on a computer?
A. The space bar!
Q. Why was the cumputer cold at night?
A. It forgot to close its windows.
Q. What did the spider do when he went on his computer?
A. He went on his web site!
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
A vicar was going to a funeral. After 2 hours on the motorway, he reaches the funeral. When he gets there, he gets out of the car, puts his satnav in his pocket (but forgets to turn it off). Once he had read all the prayers, the coffin was brought to be buried with all the relatives standing around it. Suddenly, the satnav says, "You have reached your final destination!"