Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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