Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!