Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!