Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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