Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!


Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.

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... more Christmas fun.

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