Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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