Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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