Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!


Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!

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... more Christmas fun.

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