Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

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