Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

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