Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Jokes

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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