Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!