Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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