Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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