Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Jokes

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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