Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!