Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!