Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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