Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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