Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!