Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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