Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!