Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!