Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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