Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!