Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of the best Chrismtas riddles, Chrismtas knock knock jokes and Christmas jokes ever! We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Jokes

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

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