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Squigly's Christmas Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of the best Chrismtas riddles, knock knock jokes and jokes ever! If you'd like to see more just refresh the page. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

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Riddles

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Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

... more Christmas fun.

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