Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!