Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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