Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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