Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!