Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!