Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!


They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"

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... more Christmas fun.

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