Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Jokes

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

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