Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes and riddles! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Jokes

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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