Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigy's Christmas jokes! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

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... more Christmas fun.

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