Q. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?
A. A banana smoothie!
Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.
Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!
Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!
Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!
Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date.
Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Q. What did the banana say to the judge?
A. "I'm sure to win this case on a-peel!"
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.
Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.
Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!
Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.
One day a lady was walking down the street with her baby and a man insulted her terribly by saying, "Why that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!"
The lady was so devastated she sat down beside a tree and started sobbing, then a lady showed up and said, "What is the matter honey?"
The lady answered, "See that man over there? He said I have the ugliest baby."
"Why lady don't cry, I've got you a tissue for you and a banana for your monkey!"
One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.
A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"