Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
A. LeMOOnade.

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. Where did the cow go on a holiday?
A. MOO York.

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.

Q. What does an alligator drink when it is sick?
A. Gatorade!

Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. What do you call a tiny rodent?
A. Mini mouse.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"

Q. How do you make a milkshake?
A. Sneak up behind a cow and say boo!

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why can't you take a test in the zoo?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Jokes

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

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