Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Funny Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of super funny animal jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these super funny animal jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What road does a bat take?
A. The high road!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
A. Moo-lan.

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary?
A. A theSAURUS!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.

Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Jokes

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

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