Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.

Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.

Q. What 2 animals have the same last name?
A. The donKEY and the monKEY.

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!

Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
A. BEARfooted.

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. What kind of horses have 6 legs?
A. The ones that are being ridden!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What did the spider do when he went on his computer?
A. He went on his web site!

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Jokes

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

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