Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Funny Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of super funny animal jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these super funny animal jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you give a frog at a hospital?
A. A HOPeration!

Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Jokes

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

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