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Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. There are 5 fish and 2 drown. How many are left?
A. Fish don't drown.

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs!

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stomp out forest fires.

Q. Why do elephants have large feet?
A. To stomp out flaming ducks!

Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.

Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. What do you say to Simba when he's moving too slow?
A. Mufasa!

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Jokes

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

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