Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D
Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.
Q. Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because roads weren't invented yet!
Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.
Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!
Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.
Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!
Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.
Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. What animal never tells the truth?
A. A lion.
Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.
Q. What do beavers like on their salad?
A. Branch dressing.
Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!
Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.
Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!
Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!
Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.
Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.
Q. What kind of horses have 6 legs?
A. The ones that are being ridden!
Q. What animal should you not play cards with?
A. A Cheetah!
That's correct, owls who!
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Gorilla me a hamburger!
I didn't know you were an owl!
Go brush your teeth!!
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!
There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.
The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
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