Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D
Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.
Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!
Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)
Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!
Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!
Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
Q. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!
Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.
Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!
Q. How do you know clams are lazy?
A. They are always in their beds.
Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.
Q. How do you make a milkshake?
A. Sneak up behind a cow and say boo!
Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!
Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!
Q. What keys can make you laugh?
Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.
Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!
Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!
Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.
Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!
Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!
Go brush your teeth!!
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!
That's correct, owls who!
Gorilla me a hamburger!
I didn't know you were an owl!
Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
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