Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Funny Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of super funny animal jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these super funny animal jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.

Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.

Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. Where do baby apes sleep?
A. In APEricots!

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
A. Moo-lan.

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!

Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the riverbank.

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Jokes

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

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