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Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. What do beavers like on their salad?
A. Branch dressing.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!


There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"

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