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Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What's an angry bull's favourite drink?
A. Red Bull.

Q. What is a porcupine's favourite game?
A. Poker.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. How did the sheep get red cheeks?
A. It was MAAHD!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. Why is the ocean always grumpy?
A. You'd be grumpy too if you had crabs on your bottom!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Jokes

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

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