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Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What goes BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH?
A. A kangaroo in a room with a low ceiling!

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a clam and a rabbit?
A. The oyster bunny!

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What do fish eat for lunch?
A. SANDwiches!

Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What do a duck and a tricycle have in common?
A. They both have a steering wheel, except for the duck.

Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"

Q. What's black, white, black, white, black and white?
A. A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q. What kind of vehicle does a lamb drive?
A. A LAMBorghini!

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Jokes

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

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