Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

If you want to see some more animal jokes just reload the page.

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes | Winter Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes

Find us on Facebook! Find us on Facebook at: Squigly's Playhouse   Find us on Twitter Find us on Twitter @Squiglys
Play fun games online.
Games
Crafts
Crafts
Read jokes and riddles sent in by Squigly's friends.
Jokes
Pencil Puzzles
Pencil Puzzles
Coloring Pages
Coloring Pages
Brain Teasers
Brain Teasers
Mad Libs
Mad Libs
Seasons & Holidays
Seasons & Holidays
Home Privacy Policy Copyright © 1998- Barb Willner. All rights reserved. Contact Squigly Site Map