Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. How do you stop an alligator wriggling in the back of your car?
A. Move it to the front!

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Jokes

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

Lisa: I lost my pet dinosaur.
Danny: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper?
Lisa: What good would that do, she can't read!
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

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