Q. What kind of vehicle does a lamb drive?
A. A LAMBorghini!
Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!
Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!
Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!
Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.
Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.
Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.
Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.
Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!
Q. What does an alligator drink when it is sick?
Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!
Q. What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of a turtle?
Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What do you get when you cross a clam and a rabbit?
A. The oyster bunny!
Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. Why are duck doctors so expensive?
A. Because of their bills.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!
Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog because it croaks every night!
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!
Did anyone else hear an owl?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!
Monkey see. Monkey do.
Dasum cute dog!
Gorilla me a hamburger!