Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Read our collection of animal jokes and riddles sent in by kids for kids. We know these jokes will make you laugh!

Why were the hyenas laughing?
They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles!

Riddles

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog because it croaks every night!

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What do beavers like on their salad?
A. Branch dressing.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What does a cow grow on its face?
A. A MOOstache.

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Jokes

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

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