Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Funny Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of super funny animal jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these super funny animal jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. What's an angry bull's favourite drink?
A. Red Bull.

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Jokes

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

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