Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Animal

Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about animals. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these animal jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A. Beef jerky.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What do you get when you cross an octagon with a cat?
A. An octopus.

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What do you call a tiny rodent?
A. Mini mouse.

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. Why was the walrus late for the party?
A. His iceberg ran into a ship!

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.

Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. Where does a cow go when he's bored?
A. To the MOOvies.

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Jokes

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

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