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Here are the latest jokes, riddles and knock-knock jokes sent to Squigly from his friends around the world. Just have a scroll and have a laugh. If you have a funny one that you would like to share, send it to Squigly. If you make him laugh, he'll add it to this page. Look for new postings August 1, 2009!
Riddles Page 1 of 2
What is Harry Potter's special software?
The Spell Checker!Lisa, age 7, France
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.Navleen, age 10, USA
Madison, age 10, USA
Sam, age 4, EnglandWhat do you call dinosaurs who crush cans?
T wrecks.Hooper, age 14, Europe
A person told a joke and made someone die, how?
The person laughed their head off!A close friend, age 5, USA
How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
Poker Face.Madison, age 11, USA
Rachel, age 6, USAHow do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.Sara, age 9, Canada
How do baseball players stay cool?
By playing next to their fans!Roshan, age 10, Thailand
There are five fish in a tank. Two drown, how many fish are left?
Five, fish don't drown.Melody, age 8, USA
Which cheese is not yours?
Nacho cheese.Sharma, age 14, America
Emma, age 10, USA
Janell, age 14, USAWhat do you call a policeman in bed?
An undercover cop.Kierra, age 11, USA
Why did Dracula's wife walk out on him?
She was sick of his coffin.Mikayla, age 14, Australia
What kind of pill is not a pill?
A caterPILLar.Asmiyat, age 10, India
What is a turkey's favourite thing to watch?
Globble News!Sara, age 9, Canada
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. Stayed 3 days and then left on Friday. How'd he do it?
His horse's name was Friday.Nadia, age 11, USA
What did the biscuit say when he got run over?
"Oh crumbs!"Amy, age 11, UK
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a stick of dynamite?
An EGGsplosion!Morelia, age 9, USA
Why do the teachers need to wear sunglasses?
Because their students are very bright!Wu, age 10, Malaysia
What do the sea monsters eat for breakfast?
Fish and ships. :DWu, age 10, Malaysia
What goes ha ha ha ha ha ha pop!
Somebody laughing his head off.Wu, age 10, Malaysia
What do you have when you have 100 oranges on your left hand and 150 apples on your right hand?
Big hands!Wu, age 10, Malaysia
What is the snake's favourite subject?
Hisstory!Wu, age 10, Malaysia
Why did the slice of bread go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy!Lily, age 4, Australia
What's greater than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it and if you eat it you die?
Nothing.Ansley, age 9, America
I have two hands and a face. What am I?
A clock.Ansley, age 9, USA
Why do you go to bed?
Because the bed won't come to you!Daja, age 08, USA
What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on a dead bug?
"Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant!"Mia, age 8, USA
Where does the Long Ranger take his trash?
"To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!"Mia, age 8, USA
Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.Mayra, age 11, USA
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!Mia, age 8, USA
A black dog was laying on a black street. The moon wasn't out and the street lights were off. A car with its headlights off managed to see the dog and not hit it. How?
It was daytime!Keely, age 12, USA
Why did the chicken cross the road with a bible?
Because he was going to Churches!Kelsey, age 10, USA
Why does Cinderella like to play catch?
Because it is one ball after another.Emma and Claire, age 10 & 8, USA
What is the spider called that has 5 eyes?
A spiiiiider!Sarah, age 7, USA
Why was the girl flying when she was sick?
Because she had the flu!Chloe, age 8, USA
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.Joshua, age 10, Canada
SophieHow do you make time fly?
Throw the clock out the window!Anonymous, age 9, England
Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no body to go with.KK, age 10, USA
Why did the man get fired from the M&M factory?
Because he threw out all the Ws.Rachael, age 9, Australia
What do you call a super hero penguin?
Ed waddle, waddle, waddle.Ryan, age 12, England
How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
You open the door and put the giraffe inHow do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
You open the door, take the giraffe out and put the elephant in.If all the animals in the jungle go to a meeting, which animal wouldn't make it?
The elephant, it's still in the refrigerator.If you need to get across a river full of crocodiles and you have no boat, how do you get across?
You swim, the crocodiles are at the meeting.Summer, age 13, USA
NatalieDid you hear about the idiot who wrote himself a letter?
He forgot to sign it and when it arrived he couldn't work out who it was from.Hannah, age 12, Australia
What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!Madison, age 11, America
What has a bed and never sleeps?
A river!Madison, age 11, America
What tastes better and is bigger than a chocolate house?
The Milky Way!Wu, age 10, Malaysia
There are three keys you can not unlock or lock with. What are they?
MonKEY, donKEY and a turKEY.Natasha, age 7, Pakistan
If a psychiatrist charges $100 per visit, how much would it cost a whale for 3 visits?
$1,300: $300 for the visits and $1,000 for the new couch.Alec, age , USA
Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
To the MOOvies.JJ, age 11, USA
What do you call a red head with a temper?
A wild fire.Summer, age 13, USA
Why do witches use brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.Jessica, age 9, USA
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having her day off.Dallin, age 8, USA
What time do you go to the dentist?
Tooth-Hurty.Sara and AJ , age 11, USA
Where should a 500-pound alien go?
On a diet!Emilio, age 11, USA
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.Emilio, age 11, USA
What gas station has the best food?
Chef Rons!Sarah, age 10, USA
What is black, white, black, white, black, white?
A penguin in a revolving door!Aisha, age 10, Qatar
What do you call a person who works well with eggs?
An EGGspert!Emily, age 11, USA
What did the finger say to the thumb?
"I'm in glove with you."Ashleigh, age 9, Australia
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, turn around and come back?
She was a dirty double crosser!Monique, age 10, USA
Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
Because if they didn't they would be sitting!Maria, age 10, USA
What hides at night and comes back at day?
The sun.Ben, age 15, USA
What did the rug say to the floor?
"Don't move, I've got you covered."Mattew, age 8, USA
Why did the tomato blush ?
Because it saw the salad dressing !Megan, age 12, USA
Why did the 1 handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop!Amzzie, age 11, England
Hannah, age 9, United KingdomWhat is the difference between a teacher and a train while chewing gum??
The teacher says "spit it out" and the train say "chew chew".Erika, age 12, USA
What do you get when you cross a car, dog and a bird?
A flying carpet.Liam, age 8, Scotland
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffins.Caoimhe, age 10, Ireland
How do you toast toast?
You don't toast toast. You toast bread!Macaya, age 11, USA
What is the difference between a plum and an elephant?
The colour.What did Tarzan say to Jane when the elephants were coming?
"Here come the plums!" Poor Tarzan was colour blind.Anonymous, age 12, Canada
Why was seven afraid of six?
Because six had a body guard!Youssef, age 11, Australia
Riddles page 2 | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes | Chicken Jokes
Do you have one you'd like to share? Send it to Squigly.
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